Admin We’ve all been there—whether it’s a rude comment on social media, at your back, the little voice of negativity and self-doubt, or a professional setback, all can cause insecurity and make an individual lose confidence.
Fortunately, the feeling of insecurity is not something one cannot work on. With the right help, it is easy to gain confidence and overcome the feeling of insecurity. Here are some therapist-approved tips to help deal with insecurity and make you trust yourself.
Regardless of the reason, feeling insecure is often overwhelming as it disconnects individuals from their sense of self-worth. Here’s what you can do to handle situations where you feel insecure.
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What is Insecurity?
Insecurity can result from anything. It can be related to a childhood experience, social comparisons, personal relationships, or beliefs about themselves. Everyone experiences insecurity differently. Sometimes, this feeling quickly vanishes, but sometimes, it becomes a part of life. Learning techniques to deal with negative thoughts and distortions that lead to insecurity is necessary.
Therapist approved ways to handle insecurity.
1. Work On Your Inner Critic
Generally, a person gets insecure when the little voice overpowers your thoughts. This voice always makes you feel inferior and tells you that “You are not good enough,” “No one likes you,” “You cannot do anything, “ etc. But this voice is not real. It comes from fear or past hurt rather than objective truth. This inner critic always makes you feel inferior and highlights your weaknesses. To deal with insecurity, you need to understand where this insecurity comes from.
To explain things, let’s take an example. You are working on a project, and instead of you, your colleague receives praise while all your work goes unnoticed. In this case, your inner critic might say, “See? No one values you here.” Instead of agreeing, challenge this thought and ask yourself: Is it true that I’m not valued? Or Am I focusing on negative things and ignoring the positive feedback I’ve received?
To deal with such scenarios, therapists use cognitive restructuring, a great tool for handling negative thoughts. They ask the client to write down their negative thoughts and reframe them into positive ones. You can change the sentence from “I am not valued” to “I understand my contribution was not valued, but that doesn’t mean I am not skilled.” I am going to take the feedback positively and work on self-improvement.
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2. Practice Self-Compassion
Another way that makes handling insecurity easy is being self-compassionate. Instead of criticizing yourself or feeling vulnerable, show some empathy towards yourself. Be your friend; as you empathize with your friend when they feel low, do the same for yourself. Do not give false hope. Mistakes help us learn, and feeling insecure is part of being human.
If you are insecure about your appearance, show some compassion instead of standing in front of the mirror and criticizing your looks. Admire what you like in yourself. It can be your hair, nose, eyes, or anything. Look at your positive qualities. Use positive affirmations to deal with the feeling of insecurity.
Write down the negative statements and turn them into positive ones. If you find yourself thinking, “I am not good-looking,” or “I am full of flaws,” change them into, “I am enough as I am,” or “The things I see as flaws are nothing more than figments of my imagination.”
3. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison makes one feel insecure, so stop comparing yourself to others. Avoid comparing digital life with real life. What you see on social media is not something that happens in reality. Comparing your life with the edited version posted online is the biggest mistake individuals make.
Often, when an individual is at their lowest, seeing reels makes them feel better, but that is not a solution because each time you compare your lives, you get more into the negative trap. For instance, you may be scrolling through social media feeds and see a friend who has it all: career, relationship, and endless travel photos.
This makes you get into a spiral of self-doubt. In such a scenario, remind yourself that social media doesn’t tell the whole story. Everyone has their struggles, even if they aren’t visible online.
To deal with it, limit your social media exposure and remind yourself everyone has their problems. Comparison worsens things, so take a break and do something that interests you or spend time with your loved one.
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4. Focus on What You Can Control
Feeling helpless and powerless can make one feel insecure. Therefore, when you feel that things are no longer in your control, focus on the things you can control. This helps reduce anxiety and rebuild confidence. If you feel insecure about a work assigned to you, focus on your strengths to give your best.
Avoid criticizing yourself or how others see your work. Proof read your work. If you have to give a speech, rehearse it and remind yourself of your strengths. Practicing 5-4-3-2-1 grounding techniques where you list down five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This will help you focus on the present and reduce insecurity. Be mindful of moments you can control.
5. Do not Seek Validation from Outside
Insecurity becomes ingrained when one looks for external validation to feel good about oneself. Whether praise from a boss, affection from a partner or likes on a social media post, most people look for outward appreciation and forget real security.
The feeling of happiness comes from within. If you regularly look for appreciation and validation from others, you will never feel truly happy. Shift focus inward instead of looking outwardly and waiting for people to tell you you did well. They are proud of you. Ask yourself how you feel. Do you feel content and happy with what you have done?
Start writing a validation journal. At the end of each day, write down all the big and small things you consider a work achievement and a personal accomplishment. It can be something trivial like cooking your meal or washing your car. Practicing this will help develop internal validation and self-worth.
6. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to be alone when you feel insecure. Talk to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or therapist. These people will help look at things differently. Talk to them about your insecurities. They will help you understand the reasons and will also help reduce the power of things that make you insecure.
When you start a new relationship, you might worry about not being enough. Instead of feeling this way, talk to your partner freely about how you feel; they will understand and help you see things differently. If this doesn’t help, you can try therapy, as it is a great way to explore insecurities. Therapists have tools and strategies to help you manage feelings of self-doubt and build confidence over time.
7. Embrace Imperfections
No one is perfect. The pursuit of perfectionism often fuels insecurity. What makes one human is the flaws. The unrealistic standards you set for your set make you feel insecure and negative. Embrace your imperfections and work on rectifying them.
Shift your focus from being best to being compassionate towards yourself. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them. The more you accept your imperfections, the more powerful you feel, and the hold of insecurity lightens. Use mantras like “Progress, not perfection” or “Small steps are better than doing nothing at all.” It is okay to make mistakes. It is part of the learning process.
8. Talk to a Therapist
Sometimes, overcoming insecurity requires professional support. Talk to a therapist to explore the root causes of your insecurity and get the tools and strategies to work through it.
If you’ve struggled with long-term insecurity – social anxiety, or body image issues, speak to a therapist who will help you deal with it through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying and changing harmful thought patterns.
Have Faith in the Process
Insecurity is a natural part of life, but it doesn’t. They will control how you live. You can use these therapist-approved tips to build a stronger sense of self-worth. Remember, it’s a process, and it requires patience. Give yourself the time and comfort it deserves. Next time you feel insecure, show warmth towards yourself, change negative self-talk to positive, and focus on what’s in control.
These steps will help you feel powerful, and insecurity will start to fade. Everyone feels insecure and has problems. The key to feeling powerful and confident is to face these feelings and challenge your inner critic. When in doubt, seek the support of a therapist.
