Do you also facing frustration in your daily life? well you are not alone everyone face frustration at a certain point of time. Here are some example what the frustration look like:
The Wi-Fi isn’t working at its best speed!
The plan that you were waiting to get into action got canceled!
The signal is not turning green and you are getting late for work!
Almost once a day, we do feel frustrated over trivial or major things that cause inconvenience in our life. While we accept, acknowledge this feeling quite often, we also keep stewing in it rather than stepping out of it. But, it is important to learn to deal with frustration so that you can keep various mental health issues at bay.
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What are the Outcomes of Frustration?
Frustration is found to have an ill impact on our frame of mind. It may lead us to give typical responses to life situations like:
It leads to direct anger and aggression.
While adjusting to the frustration, we tend to feel stressed.
It develops a tendency in us to give up easily thus, leading to feelings of apathy.
Loss of confidence and self-esteem is a common response to frustrating events.
Continuous exposure to frustrating life events is found to develop depression in an individual.
The chances of developing a dependency on unhelpful habits as an escape from frustrating events are also seen in many. This in turn calls forth various physical and mental health issues.
Increased irritability and feelings of resentment can also reap from the feelings of frustration.
To safeguard yourself from developing these unhealthy emotions and habits, it becomes important to deal with frustration.
How to Deal With Frustration?
Different resources suggest different ways to deal with frustration. Well, I am going to share with you my personal “How to Deal With Frustration” guide (and it is backed with science). I have divided this section into two subheadings for a better solution approach.
“Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success.”
To explore the flipside of frustration, it is important that you know to handle frustration.
Also Read: How to Practice Self Forgiveness and Move on
How to Relieve Frustration when a goal is not met:
Step 1: Let Breathing Do the Trick
Couldn’t meet that deadline? It is okay! Just inhale good vibes and Thinking! It does work this way. Breathing is a great tool to start dealing with your frustration. Deep breathing makes sure that frustration doesn’t take over the steering wheel of your mind, and it remains in cool and sensible hands!
Advice: Counting along as you breathe can amplify its impact. Also, practice it in a quiet and comfortable place if possible.
Step 2: Question, Accept, Acknowledge, and Be Aware
If you question, accept, and acknowledge your feelings of frustration right when they come, you will be better prepared to combat it and be aware of it for the next time.
For this, you can try this process:
Ask yourself why you are frustrated? (Identify the triggers)
What are you feeling? (Understanding your feelings)
How can I deal with it? (Working on the solution)
If you clear this step, you can proactively convert your frustration into a tool that will let in great things in your life.
Advice: Penning down the frustrating event is a great way to explore and evaluate your feelings.
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Step 3: Soak in Positivity
The feeling of frustration often accompanies negative thinking. But, instead of diving into negativity and letting frustration feed on it, you have to soak yourself into positivity.
Think of positive outcomes such as, you will work harder on that project and discover new dimensions. Basically, think of it as an opportunity to explore new solutions and as a delayed success.
Advice: Repeating phrases is found to be an effective technique here. You may tell yourself “this too shall pass” or “I will get there.” You may also create your phrase here.
Step 4: Distraction is Fun
Make yourself a cup of coffee and read your favorite novel! Distracting yourself with activities that you enjoy will help you get past a roadblock and frustration. It opens up your way to have a problem-solving approach. So, getting your mind off from what’s frustrating you is a great way to deal with it.
Advice: Don’t think of it as an escape or a way to procrastinate. It is a way to find mental relief for some time.
An important point to remember here is that you should know things you can control in your life and things that are not in your control. Because frustrating over uncontrollable aspects of life is like swimming in a pool without water. You won’t reach anywhere but will still lose energy (a lot of it), making it a complete loss situation for you. Be wise; Be happy!
However, if you are feeling frustrated towards someone (a human-being) there is a different “How to Cope with Frustration” guide for you.
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How to Reduce Frustration towards a person:
Step 1: Get Your Nerves Under Control
Breathing is the best way to get your nerves under control and feel grounded. This will slow down your entire body system which due to frustration might be in a hyped-up state. With your body and mind being calm you can work further on your frustration.
Advice: Just do 5 rounds of deep breathing before starting a conversation.
Step 2: Be All Ears (Stay Calm)
It is important to give the other a chance to talk. Let them talk about their concern. I repeat let them talk about their CONCERN. What I am trying to point here is to talk about one issue/concern at a time, else with topics piling up, your frustration will also pile up, letting you in no good place!
While communicating over the concern make sure you listen to them in a non-defensive manner. Also, make sure your body language is in line with your behavior, keep it free from an aggressive tone.
Advice: A great way to show that you are listening is to mirror back what you heard in your own words (rephrase what you understood). This will also miscommunicate if any!
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Step 3: Now Respond with Clarity
While you are on steps 1 and 2 half of your frustration is anyway gone so make sure the remaining half doesn’t ruin your progress. For this, you have to be compassionate for the other person and be clear with your response.
State your needs, your feelings, and opinions. Don’t use sarcasm and passive-aggressive behavior. Validate their efforts by using phrases like, “Thank you for listening to me without yelling at me,” or “I appreciate your understanding.” This will work as a sign of compassion.
Advice: Don’t use ‘YOU’ sentences while talking about your feelings, use ‘I’ sentences instead.
Step 4: Focus on the Solutions
Very good! You have come so far! The next step to focus on is finding the solution to the issue. You can list down the solutions and communicate over them till the time the best solution is figured out.
Advice: Brainstorm the solutions together as a team and agree on the one that has minimum discomfort for both of you.
*You may end the conversation with a warm nice hug.*
An important point to note here is that the unhealthy pattern of responding to someone who leads to frustration was learned and practiced, for it to become a part of your lifestyle.
Now, these steps can help you unlearn that unhealthy pattern and work healthily. All it requires is some effort and consistency on your part! So, don’t give up, keep trying, you will reach there.
So, next time when you are feeling frustrated you know exactly how to deal with it and explore its power.
“Let frustration become the catalyst for great things to come.”
~Kimberly Faye Greenberg